It Keeps Calling Me

Sorry ya'll. I've neglected my blog, for the most part due to me working my ass off lately. But here we go with a new post, new topics, new discussions. And please give me your feedback.
Well, I have honestly been trying to not have any type of sex, especially male to male sex. I've said to myself I'm going to quit this, and just focus on me. Well, I must say it's been hard....literally. I've been wanting dick in me badly! I can't explain it, but when I think I'm done with it, it keeps calling for me. Just to feel it in me....fill me up, hit my prostate and make me cum without doing nothing....oh it's crazy. I emailed my "fukk buddy", and he's about as busy as I am so I'm like ok that's cool...he's busy I'm busy, that means I don't need it. Then I recieved an email from a guy I hooked up with twice, but it was damn good. I call him MadMandingo....he has a warrior tool...about 7 inches thick soft. The 1st time we hooked up we didn't fukk...I gave him head, we embraced and he fingered me until i shot my load. He sat on my chest and I gave him head. The head was good because he shot his load prematurely. The 2nd time we hooked up...he fukked me for about an hour..we kissed and it was slow passionate sex...I was gone off the poppers...but when he finally hit it doggy style I got off. Unfortunately when i buss mines I loose interest quickly. Then I say to myself I'm done. That's what I needed....I'm good....then a week or two later...my ass is telling me to find that dick..........it keeps calling me.

Hopin my true muthaphukkas know, this be the realest shit I ever wrote

Someone poised the question to me...what's the freakest thing I've ever done. Wow...good question...because I've done some wild shyt. But the freakest would be letting a bisexual female fuck me with a dildo, then I fucked her in the ass, while she fucked herself with a vibrator in her pussy. She damn near exploded. But the shit was when she laid me on my back, propped my legs up, and fingered my ass while she sucked my dick until I nutted down her throat. That's a bad bitch. I'm bout to call her.

Discreet Encounter pt 1

This is a post about one of my encounters. I posted an ad on a website for an anonymous "Meat and Greet". Get it....meat and greet...not meet and greet. So i recieved a response from a guy in atlanta. I work in Stone Mountain, but didn't have a spot for us to hookup at. Well we exchanged numbers and he met me at my job. I followed him to some townhomes that were under construction. One phase was finished and the units were open. We parked and went inside as if we were interested in looking. Once we looked in all the closets and rooms to ensure privacy I went down on his dick. He was nice and thick not too long, not too short. We took off our pants and shorts, he put on a magnum and worked himself in me. I usually inhale some poppers to take the edge off, but the excitement of being somewhere we didn't have any business made my adrenaline rush. He moved to the toliet and sat down, I mounted his 7 inch throne. He tried to kiss me but hell no...I don't know u like that. Funny huh? We moved to the sink and I propped up with my legs up while he pounded me. Damn it felt good...I started jackin my dick, he started grunting and I knew what time it was....he pulled out and sprayed his seed everywhere but on me. Good. I kept jackin and I shot a fat load. We got up...washed up(running water, in a vacant townhome..how convenient) said no words except...Take it easy...walked out. Drove off.

Analyze This

You know, I hear alot of overanalyzation of the "dl" thing and I think folks have it confused. At least my interpretation of it is this.......I was listening to the radio when this whole down low brotha phenomenon broke and there was this guy saying how he goes to the straight clubs and bars and picks up guys. He said he looks at a guy a certain way, he looks back and that is the confirmation. He also stated he picked up execs, thugs, bankers, and ballers in these clubs. That is not being on the dl. R Kelly said, keep it on the down low..nobody has to know. Which means my actions won't be seen or heard in public. There will be no slight of the eye looks, no fake introductions in public, no association outside of what "we do". I won't hang out with you, you won't come around my folks, and vice versa. That is being on the dl. Two worlds. We will meet on websites and after some convo then we will meet in a public setting in a discreet location. From there if it moves further we will meet again in private, arrive seperately and leave seperately.

On the Fence

I love the way her walls feel against my dick, slick...with a grip like a python.
But my boa contsricts her vaginal cavity. I should be arrested for assault and battery the way I beat the pussy.
"Don't push me, cuz I'm close to the edge, I'm trying not to loose my head!"
I'm on the fence....I inhale the popper so my ass won't be so tense.
Relax, and breath...take it slow. I put his tool and my mouth and make it grow.
Oh....oh....oh shit, he grabbed my waist and bent me over like a bitch.
I felt his dick....damn I felt his dick.
I'm strattlin this fence, which way do I go?
That's the question that haunts me daily. I gotta love for pussy, I gotta love for dick...I gotta love for ass, damn I gotta love for clit.
I don' bit from forbidden fruit, played the game so slick. But I'm tired of playin...I need a fuckin Oscar for these lives I'm potrayin.
Maybe I'm goin to hell for the lies and betrayin I've done....
So many times I've said, fuck it I'm done....
But the shit keeps callin me!
Fuck it, I'm done.

The 1st Time

You see where I left off on my last blog right? That was my childhood and teenage years summed up for you within a paragraph.....Let's fast forward a bit shall we.........When I moved here to Atlanta when I was 21 around 1997 I was still finding me. What moved me, what I believed in, how to define one's self. I knew that I was attracted to both women and men....but at this point I hadn't experienced man to man sexual contact. Yeah I jacked off to some books, or just closed my eyes and imagined what it would feel like....but just hadn't made that step. Really I didn't know how. Well once I moved here I found out about telephone chat lines. A free service to listen and record voicemail messages for others to hear, but to recieve one on one talk you had to pay...something I just wasn't willing to do. So one night I got in my car and drove downtown and called myself trying to find a "gay bar".....as if it was going to just have a big sign in neon lights with an arrow pointing that said "Gay Men Here". Needless to say that was wasted gas and wasted time. But I did know if you look for something long enough you will find it. The apartment complex I stayed in at the time had some lesbian chicks staying across from me. I'm saying to myself I'll just approach them on the low and maybe they can point some things out to me. So I politely slipped them a note on their car saying : I'm new to the area, blk male searching for a gay or bi male to show me the ropes...my pager (didn't have a cellphone yet) is blah blah blah. Well a few days later I get a page from a guy named James. He sounded feminine on the phone which turned me on. I pretty much described myself and what I was trying to do....really wasn't alot of chatter, didn't really care to. We set up a time for him to come through. A few hours later I knock on my door....my heart raced cuz I'm like nervous and excited....really didn't know what to expect....I opened the door and James was a bald headed white guy about 5'8 220lbs and not very attractive at all. Well me being the person I am, I invited him in....at least I could do is not be rude. We talked, he told me he is a chef....has a female roomate yada yada yada. As we talked I found my horniness and maybe just a desperation to experience some male to male action kicked in....and I asked him to give me head. Shit he obliged quickly. His head game was on point....he wanted me to fuck him. I layed the fat boy on his back and put him in the buck and banged his ass like he was an enemy of mine. His asshole was tight but not too tight...he moaned like a bitch and it turned me on......Then I felt that nutt coming, I emptied myself into the rubber that was in his ass and when I pulled out.........shit was all on my condom. The most disgusting thing I've ever witnessed. At that point I felt as though I wanted to throw up, and was like what did I just do? I cleaned myself up quickly and told him he had to go....I know he felt cheap or used...but it is what it is. I told James he'll hear from me, don't call me. That was 1997....I fucked with James until about 2003.....maybe like every other month once or twice...making him pay me $100 everytime I see him. I used him, exclusively. I hate that I did that to him. In 2003 his apartment in Buckhead caught fire and he moved, don't know where.......I hope he's doing well though.

Intro

Where to start......I've stumbled onto a blog from a gentleman known as Pimusique, and after reading his blog it inspired me to write and get some things off of my chest. I'm a brother who has been living seperate lives for about 20 some odd years. Some may find this unbelievable, some may be able to relate. I am a 30 y/o bisexual male. I found my bisexuality when I was probably 7 or 8 years old. The way it happened was a younger cousin of mines would want to play sexual games. Yes he was younger, at least a year but was advanced. I on the other hand being the oldest was very shy, and nieve to the world. But he and I and another younger cousin would pull out our little penises and hump each other, and really liked it...but thought that we were doing no wrong. Even in doing this, I felt it was wrong because it was done in secret. Then there was the 15 year old female babysitter that wanted me to play with her pussy in the closet, and put my mouth on it. So I was introduced to different forms of sexuality at an early age. There's so much to post, but we'll explore those realms later. Anyway.....as I matured I got into girls, got my 1st piece of pussy at like 13 or 14 and it was a wrap! I was trying to knock down every female that gave a hint of giving it up. As I matured I got better, just being able to make a female moan in either agony or passion boosted my ego. There was one particular girl though that pretty much shattered any thoughts about being serious with any female. I was 16 maybe 17, and asked her to go to my high school prom...needless to say she couldn't go, but did say we could go out to some post prom parties...which we did. I parked my car and she drove....we hung out, drank, got messed up and ended up at her crib. Now her mother works 3rd shift, so i'm like this is all good......when we got to her house I was so fukked up I lay on the couch trying to sleep some of that mad dog 20/20 off. There was a knock on the door, and it was the neighborhood thug nigg she would fukk with on occassion. Now I knew about that, hell I'm not a hater...get yours....but this was a set up from jump. Now I went to school with this dude, said wassup and ere'thing but I didn't think shit would pop off like this. He came in, took off his shoes...like "I'm home", and went upstairs. Now I'm expecting to see him leave in about 5 minutes, but all I could here was the sound of the bedpost hittin the wall. I'm like this beoytch is upstairs fukkin this nigg and I'm down here lookin like a lame. So I got up, walked to my car, and drove home. Now I'm not mad that she fukkn this dude, but fukkn him while i'm there and we kickin it, and truth be told we were fukk patnas to off and on, but she was like a cool as friend who I talked to on the phone about women and shit, and vice versa.....I thought we was better than that. So from that point, I began to use women as a tool. Manipulate them for my own satisfaction and needs. Get what I want and be gone. Fuck emotions and love, I felt betrayed by someone who I thought was my friend. I felt lame, and spineless....so I needed to get my swagger back. This was all high school......once I graduated that's when shit got deeper. Like I said I had the "gay" experience with my cousins (which that shit has never been brought up between us to this day), but I managed to hold off any gay thoughts. Until I got in college and the scenery began to change. I'm from a modest city, industrial, working class people. Well in the early nineties we got our first adult video/book store. I'm thinking this is a place for pervs because it was frequented at night. After driving past more than once late at night after leaving some broads house and fukking her to sleep, I got enuff nerve to stroll in. Wow, is the only word to think of. Books with pics of gay sex, bi sex, trans sex, straight sex, toys, videos, video booths...........with the glory holes......