Intro

Where to start......I've stumbled onto a blog from a gentleman known as Pimusique, and after reading his blog it inspired me to write and get some things off of my chest. I'm a brother who has been living seperate lives for about 20 some odd years. Some may find this unbelievable, some may be able to relate. I am a 30 y/o bisexual male. I found my bisexuality when I was probably 7 or 8 years old. The way it happened was a younger cousin of mines would want to play sexual games. Yes he was younger, at least a year but was advanced. I on the other hand being the oldest was very shy, and nieve to the world. But he and I and another younger cousin would pull out our little penises and hump each other, and really liked it...but thought that we were doing no wrong. Even in doing this, I felt it was wrong because it was done in secret. Then there was the 15 year old female babysitter that wanted me to play with her pussy in the closet, and put my mouth on it. So I was introduced to different forms of sexuality at an early age. There's so much to post, but we'll explore those realms later. Anyway.....as I matured I got into girls, got my 1st piece of pussy at like 13 or 14 and it was a wrap! I was trying to knock down every female that gave a hint of giving it up. As I matured I got better, just being able to make a female moan in either agony or passion boosted my ego. There was one particular girl though that pretty much shattered any thoughts about being serious with any female. I was 16 maybe 17, and asked her to go to my high school prom...needless to say she couldn't go, but did say we could go out to some post prom parties...which we did. I parked my car and she drove....we hung out, drank, got messed up and ended up at her crib. Now her mother works 3rd shift, so i'm like this is all good......when we got to her house I was so fukked up I lay on the couch trying to sleep some of that mad dog 20/20 off. There was a knock on the door, and it was the neighborhood thug nigg she would fukk with on occassion. Now I knew about that, hell I'm not a hater...get yours....but this was a set up from jump. Now I went to school with this dude, said wassup and ere'thing but I didn't think shit would pop off like this. He came in, took off his shoes...like "I'm home", and went upstairs. Now I'm expecting to see him leave in about 5 minutes, but all I could here was the sound of the bedpost hittin the wall. I'm like this beoytch is upstairs fukkin this nigg and I'm down here lookin like a lame. So I got up, walked to my car, and drove home. Now I'm not mad that she fukkn this dude, but fukkn him while i'm there and we kickin it, and truth be told we were fukk patnas to off and on, but she was like a cool as friend who I talked to on the phone about women and shit, and vice versa.....I thought we was better than that. So from that point, I began to use women as a tool. Manipulate them for my own satisfaction and needs. Get what I want and be gone. Fuck emotions and love, I felt betrayed by someone who I thought was my friend. I felt lame, and spineless....so I needed to get my swagger back. This was all high school......once I graduated that's when shit got deeper. Like I said I had the "gay" experience with my cousins (which that shit has never been brought up between us to this day), but I managed to hold off any gay thoughts. Until I got in college and the scenery began to change. I'm from a modest city, industrial, working class people. Well in the early nineties we got our first adult video/book store. I'm thinking this is a place for pervs because it was frequented at night. After driving past more than once late at night after leaving some broads house and fukking her to sleep, I got enuff nerve to stroll in. Wow, is the only word to think of. Books with pics of gay sex, bi sex, trans sex, straight sex, toys, videos, video booths...........with the glory holes......